Tips on fixing this poem, pretty please?
This is my English homework, I’m sixteen years old. I’m new at this school and not sure how good at writing people are here. So please tell me if this is alright for my year, and if not, help me fix it?
Thank you ^_^
You stand clothed in calm crimson, fists carefully clenched;
Controlled fury and you’re breaking eyes beautifully.
Strangers wear sunglasses inside, and I Am contempt
Then bare, burnt, and I understand.
The sun is not my enemy; its tendrils affix love to sullen earth
Ribbons of light spin you in front of me, dazzling. Not mine.
Sticky child-fingers aren’t allowed on the switch.
Twirl, beauty, and the ribbons morph as they near.
Whips to beat me, chains to bind me, weeds to drag me down.
Once more drowning, and the pale anger takes flight.
You’d save me if you could see me
But you’re watching the lights.
Beuatifully written! You shouldn’t change anything. Don’t worry about how other people write. Writing is a form of expression for YOURSELF!
Crimson Fists
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Reader’s Digest Condensed Books: Daybreak, Disclosure, St. Agnes Stand, The Fist of God (Volume 5 1994) $4.29 … |
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The Crimson Fist $15.17 This is an EXACT reproduction of a book published before 1923. This IS NOT an OCR’d book with strange characters, introduced typographical errors, and jumbled words. This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is cultu… |